Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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