Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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