I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my sisters under your porch take her home
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
