To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
