I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
