This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize