If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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