I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
