How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
