I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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