i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
