we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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