The brown eye won't let me do that either.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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