Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
