Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
