shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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