just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
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The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
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Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am available for nakedness
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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