Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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