people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
