We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
