YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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