is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Randomize
