he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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