everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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