i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
