On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
