and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
