They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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