So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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