She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Farmville is her only friend.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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