this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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