my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am naked and annoyed.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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