The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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