I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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