so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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