This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
