I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
