Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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