Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
