My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Michael Bay diarrhea
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
