You work out of a Hotel?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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