he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
