I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I pour the whiskey from now on
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize