she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you inspire me to be a worse person
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
