thus making me awesome and them whores
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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