Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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