Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
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