lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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