I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
