Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
