I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
