did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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