I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
