I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
