I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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