I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
what day is it and did you see me today?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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