Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
