You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
