Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
