have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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