these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
