I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
