Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
