Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
