You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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