Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
They have beer where we have blood.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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