So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
