This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can I color on your dick again?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
