Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
