his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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